The Snow Awaits Me!

That beautiful sight that you see in front of you is my Aunty's back yard in Kent..where I'll be spending a week from Friday!I love it!
When I was at work and all the english old couples would come in and buy their english daily newspapers with photos of the snow on the front page, I would ask if they wish they were back home..and they all said no!! When I told them that I was going up to England on Friday they called me crazy!! But I'm not :) I think they're taking the snow for granted! haha how random aye?
Anyway, I don't really have much to say, just maybe the fact that sometimes people need to realise that you dont have to say something about everything...just let people live their lives!!

Insomma I'm off to write back to my australian friend Claire,
talk to you in a weeks time, guaranteed photos!

Amy xXx

Time to settle down :)

hey guys

sorry for the really maybe, too honest post,but i needed to get it off my chest..
hope you're all okay,and that life is treating you well! I think slowly I'm realising things,life is becoming clear slowly, and it's great...I still have loads to disagree with,but it's no point,it's not going to get me anywhere :)

So today, during my never ending frees, I realised that as amazing and complex as the brain is, its evil.It can cause self-destruction,it's the one part of the body that can cause self-destruction and be blamed: "Dont worry,its all in the brain" It's funny, our brain can cause us to total madness one day..sort of like back stab us...haha moving on!!

School isn't getting easier or anything, and sometimes some people can really bring us down and make it harder to cope, but you know what I'm keeping in mind? A phrase I heard in a film;
No one gets to decide how I feel...

And it's true, and I'm trying to adapt that phrase,and make it my logo or whatever..you should try it!

I'm off to england in 18 days, and I am way too excited!Leaving Malta for a week, you know how good that sounds at the moment? :) Everyone needs their time off...this is mine!

Sorry this post wasn't one of support or encouragment..just my update,and thoughts of the week.
Just a few photos that were taken throughout a great afternoon in Mdina :)

a much needed update!

hey guys

illa its been ages since ive blogged,so much has happened and stayed the same!

As people grow,they think, discuss, observe,think twice and have to decide under pressure...
I'm growing, not cause its my bday soon, but you know if ure growing inside..you just know..and well I know im growing,cos im thinking,observing and deciding for myself and not letting others decide for me. We tend to do that as people,we tend to rely on others too much,we tend to be scared of our choice,well we shouldn't, im not, im doing this my way.

Am I confusing you?

anyway, im living for me and not for anyone else, because what i do is my choice, and I'm sick of others trying to be a parent when they're not, especially if they're my age..they think they're so grown up and better than the rest..well they're not, because we're all the same, whether ure on the youth team or on admin, or just a member of y4j, or someone who doesnt go to y4j, to the extent of someone who's an athiest...we are all the same so i would just wish if everyone could get off their high horse and shut up!The looks, the 'it seems like u need prayers', they're absolute crap...we all need prayers and you dont go telling someone you think they need prayers,cos its rude...I mean what, and you dont?

so right, i need my space, i need a break, but no one has any right to think my relationship with god is going down or something happened to me, i mean what the hell? if i needed help i would ask for it, so whoever is reading this, no offence, just know that even if u raise your hands in praise, and u might not smoke,or have sex, there are individuals out there who are better than all of us put together, so its not a competition..and if it is for you, sorry to burst your bubble,
but the game is over...

this was totally in general,so dont go round saying "im sure she meant that for me"...
anyway, god bless you all, and gws vicky xxxxx

A Ramble...??

yep this is most probably a ramble! You guys ever felt like you needed to slap someone to wake them up and make them realise that this is real...that this is actually happening and that there is something wrong...or ever felt really out of it..like you dont belong anywhere? that you have to make these decisions that could really affect you and once you make them,there's no turning back? or that time was flying by too fast, that you were meeting people and forgetting their names...that days were going by without you knowing what was said? ever wanted someone so badly..but never knew what they really wanted so you gave up on liking him/her because "you didnt have a chance"...? ring a bell anyone? ever started crying and couldn't stop until you had no more tears to spare..and thought you were being stupid until you realised that those are the tears representing the past week? ever felt that you wanted to be normal? and not reach some high standards that everyone expects you to? ever wanted to be just you, no questions asked?

well this is me guys..these are all the feelings,tears,wants,needs that i can offer really...
whoever read through it all deserves a hug :)

We're weekend survivors..they're survivors for as long as they live...

These is the real thing in Nairobi....
and this is us trying to experience what is normal for millions of people around the world...

It worked out quite well, living on rice and lentils for the weekend, drinking water, sleeping in slums, living in one outfit, no deodorant, hoping our slum won't be broken down during the night...creating our own ball games by rolling paper to make a ball, bible studies, discussions etc.,

I must admit, there were times when my pride got the best of me..by being shy of the way i look around bay street etc., but overall the experience was great, we really stuck together through it all!

Referring to the title of this blog, I was thinking, it's true, we survived the weekend, it's great!But what about the people who think of the weekend as another daily challenge, to find a piece of bread or some drinking water?On Saturday we kept reminding ourselves that we'l be eating "tomorrow", but for them there is no tomorrow...They're ones to be called real survivors! Wish there was more I could do, but for now the little things count, then if I'm meant to, I'll help some of these survivors hands-on! (just a dream)

Moving on,
So, Christmas is round the corner, and I really want this Christmas to be different to the rest, I want to do something great, I just have no idea what hehe

NYE is so blank atm, no clue what we're doing yet..not going to some hamallu party where the countdown isn't even heard xD I'd rather stay home!!!

What am I looking forward to this week?

My date wit vicky on friday :)
My stipend&pay
Finding out how much money we collected this weekend!

Anyway, that's all for me,blessings and have a good day at school tomorrow guys =P I'm staying home haha

A rolling marble...

Hey guys

so funnily enough my last blog came in handy, because I decided that my days were passing without me having time to reach out and pack my ruler...not because I had no time,but because I realised I was placing other things as first priority...and I didn't realise until negative thoughts started popping in to my head, i was in a bad mood and all that...and i was in the library,panicking for a biology test until I said: "Okay, that's it,I need a bible." My friend kept looking at me and asked why a bible would help me, so I explained xD he watched me get some old torn down Jerusalem one,and just flip through it...and I found this in Nehemiah...

"The God of heaven will give us success."

that's my favourite quote, its just i like to perfect the little things,and i believe in success...and sometimes it backfires and leaves me feeling like a real loser,who's not good at anything.
but really I'm not a loser...I'm Gods beautiful marble,who keeps rolling out of his hand,and even though His hand stays there,open, waiting for me to roll back to safety, I decide to keep rolling on, bumping into stones and getting stepped on...so that's me atm, a rolling marble...trying to roll back, I think?

I'm in my rebel stage,where I get tempted to think negative,do the wrong things etc., so basically Im a really struggling marble..

We were in english today,reading the literature book: Of Mice And Men. There was a part which described how these two guys, lennie and john decided to eat beans, and sleep in the dark, on the grass because they liked it, and knew if they went to the ranch,they would hv to work harder. So it got me thinking, have we settled for beans, and grass and darkness? Why? Because it's easier that way...But why should we settle for grass when we could work harder, and get eternal light and a 5-course meal? =)
So,whatever it is,think before you do something,the easier path is the never the best!
Take care guys, god bless xxx
listen to this song,its great!

Are You Using A RULER?

Have you ever found yourself in the situation where you need to draw a straight line, but you forgot your ruler at home? I get really frustrated when it happens to me...I end up using a paper or a copybook,but somehow the pencil moves up and down,and my hand starts to shake and it just doesn't work out...ever felt like that?

It's the same with God, how many times have we tried to go through something without Him, because we think we're too independent or maybe because we think we can handle it...maybe we prefer doing it OUR way...
well wake up with me guys...we need our little plastic ruler,just as we need our real ruler...the ruler of the world =)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make your paths STRAIGHT."
Proverbs3:5-6

Is school getting too much? chemistry,maths, physics, biology or English tests this week? Private lessons,ballet rehearsals?Meetings?Organising an important event?Work?University?

Whatever it is, try carry your ruler around with you...wake up 15 minutes earlier to open your bible and say good morning to God, spend a free in the library journalling,or go say a 2 minute hello to God in the chapel...that's what I mean by carrying your ruler with you! Never say you're too busy;

"But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.

Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice."

Psalm55:16-17.

Something from my bible;

Public prayer is against the law in public schools in the United States.But private prayer cannot be legislated against or banned and is your right. You can pray privately,and you can live your Christian life openly in your public school.

You can't get away from stress completely. Some stress is good for you. But don't punish yourself. Do what you can to relieve some of the pressure. And about those things you can't change...

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty...I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:11-13.

Have a good week =) God bless you all xxx

We are His people!!

Hey guys,

just came back from a great treasure hunt in Mdina..and obviously group 4 came first =) hehe joking..but we did win, and I must say I'm quite satisfied!so thanks to all..

So regarding the title, i guess what I shared last meeting seemed to touch me more when I actually said it out loud. And its so beautiful, to see everyone proclaim that we are His people...what I've been praying is that one day, all the world will be standing in awe of God,and proclaiming that too...seems impossible? It's not..it's supposed to be normal, it's supposed to be something you can say any day,any time...but unfortunately its not something you would exactly hear someone shouting out randomly in the street hehe.
You know what worries me? When the world comes to an end and Jesus comes to save HIS people...are we all going to convert because its a must? Because if we don't, we'll die? So whoever is reading this, if you know you still have to take that step to deepen your relationship with God, if you know there's that wrong vice in your life, if you have a bad attitude or if you simply never prayed or believed, will you take this step with me?
I honestly just feel so full of God, so fired up, that I just need to move about, or pray or praise God for who He is, for who HE will always be..because guys, This Is Our God!
wrote this now rly randomly..not a poem, just whats on my heart..

Someday its gonna happen
the world's gna say it
its gonna give in

im yours god,
im a jesus person
and u know what?
im proud..
im proud to be who u called me to be,
i can say it, I am yours alone,
To the rest of the world, will you say it with me?
is today the day lord?
or is it a last minute decision?
will you wait a second longer?
'Cos theres no better time than now
so we'll say it, sing it,
shout it,proclaim it,
cry it, scream it,
fight it,pray it...

We Are Your People....

Gotta be Somebody..

That's the title of Nickelback's new song. Thank you Elaine for sharing the song with me =)

As sweet and cute and romantic as the words are.. I'm taking the godly perspective xD

So I`ll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

are we holding our breath till we meet God?
Are we trying to stay strong?
Are we doing all we can?
Can you look back on your week and be proud of at least one thing?
What are you disappointed about?
Can it be fixed?

HOLD YOUR BREATH GUYS!if you know you're going to hurt the person by saying something, hold your breath, don't say it..
if you're going in a dark room with a guy, hold your breath...and leave...
if someone offers you drugs and u dont want to seem like a baby...hold your breath..say no anyway..its worth it.
If you know you're about to do something like smoke,gossip,criticise, judge etc....hold your breath and stop...

Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

Who you thinking about? A guy..a girl? ye fine ure allowed to be soppy and cute....but whoever wrote this has someone missing in their life....God! Our life is in His hands...He's in control...you know what that means?
WE DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING =)
But we need to pray about everything, even if its not so important to you, it is to God....give God everything...I personally think he's very well organised=P

And finally,
You can´t give up!
When you're Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough

Whatever it is, however impossible it seems, keep going, have faith...cos that diamonds gna shine through one day...could be tomorrow or in 1o years time...dont give up :)

Now enough about my currently most played song hehe...

Basically my future is pretty blurry atm, dont know where im going at the moment, but i think its ok..cos Gods got it all planned out and I just hv to wait =) but prayers could be helpful hehe

Conference was pretty good..got a very positive outcome, and I'm sure everyone appreciated the comments and pats on the back...and honestly I really saw God helping us through it, rob and tine were great..elaine read great...and oh it was so perfect cos we were all doing it for God and no one else!

Should I shut up now? yes....hehe anyway everyone do hold your breath this week, not literally ok? I wouldnt rly like to be the cause of ppl suffocating to death =P
God bless you all xxxxxx

A family =)

hey guys

totally different post from the previous one. but before I begin I would really like to thank you all for your comments and discussions etc xD

Just got home from a Y4J meeting..I must say one of the best...does this mean I jumped and laughed because life is so perfect? *never gna happen-life is never perfect :P)

NOPE,

total opposite...I let out all last weeks emotions,the ones u push down cos people at school cant see u in that state..or because its too stupid to talk about or maybe because you're just naturally closed up...well maybe then u know what I'm talking about.
It started off with me being restless at the very beginning of this weekend,I couldn't socialise well,I wanted to be alone,loss of appetite etc...but today i couldn't take it.i convinced myself to go to y4j to praise, and overcome my UN-sociable mood...but when i got there i couldn't even worship!i had too much on my heart. but luckily for me (and for others =P) god knew what i would feel,and he couldn't bear seeing me (or you) so restless..so he sent a good friend of his...a priest xD I was the first one to go in side Fr.Cefai's room..I closed the door and sat down, and this is how it basically went;

Priest; What would you like to confess?
Me; nothing,I mean, no, you see, I think i want to talk.

embarrassing much?i could have spoken to him for forever,but people awaited his presence,so he sent me off renewed, i actually did confess in the end xD

does dis now mean i was happy cos of my perfect life?

no once again xD

I think i managed to worship too much after my "confession"...like theres such a thing of too much worship, but what i mean to say is that my mind went from me imagining Jesus letting me rest on him, to Him picking up the Eucharist in adoration and smiling!Insomma point being, its OK to not be so hyper after a y4j meeting!feeling worried?left out?your friends leave st.Michael's feeling so hekk cos God touched their hearts and you didn't FEEL* him? Good for them...but u know its OK to go home and have another cry in your own privacy, God could be touching your heart, but He might start from whats stopping you from being loved by Him. Too confusing? I'll explain further; * You not feeling anything doesn't mean He's not touching your heart*

lets take a flower OK? a flower with dead leaves on its stem and some dead petals.then take another flower which is okay,maybe a few scars here and there but on the whole okay. If I had to take care of these flowers and make them look the best they can, which would I manage to take care of without hurting it?

The one with scars...cos I just need to patch up some scars and start working on just giving it water and vitamins,while the other flower would need to be cleaned well first,maybe taking off a petal (god wants you to stop staying with that friend for good reasons) maybe he needs to take off a leaf too, (smoking?drinking?self harm?anorexia?bulimia?self pity?complaining a bit too much?..)
so that flower is gna feel the cleaning a bit more. But its okay,cause no matter how long it takes, God is treating us equally but, is just tackling us individually, because we are individuals xD think i made it more confusing aye xD

So coming to the point of the title,
after Y4J i just said that I'll be going home, and someone asked why, so I explained that i don't feel like socialising with friends and he just says: we're not friends,we're your family.

It really struck me..I mean I have a family ta, when I hurt, someone hurts with me, when I laugh someone laughs with me and the chain goes on. This is us, this is who we're meant to be....couldn't love you all more xxx

sorry if i bored you, blessings,
Amy xxx

To wear a bikini or not to wear a bikini?

So I'm expecting disagreements and agreements with what I'm going to post in a matter of minutes xD

Everyone wears a bikini-us girls love bikinis, especially me!The whole world loves bikinis-
since when do we adapt to the rest of the world?

I think a lot of negative points could come out of this-

1) Face it-some Maltese men are a bit disgusting,one look at a girl in a bikini could drive them bonkers.You're probably saying- so what,its not like I know him..but you know what?god does...god loves that guy,so aren't we supposed to love him to?
12When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall. 1Corinthians 8:12-13.

2) If wearing short skirts..half tops etc., are wrong because we're giving our body so easily...then what makes a piece of material covering our parts so different?what makes it ok?aren't we god's beautiful temple?...

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1Corinthians 6:19-20

3) Going back to the origin of these points- adapting to the world...I mean since when do we adapt to the rest of the world?If we're supposed to be different in everything else, why do we "give in" when it comes to swimming?what if God prefers us covering up a bit more...if Jesus was at the beach with us,would we feel 100% comfortable to walk around in our bikini?

It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,
When I planned this, did I do it lightly? Or do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say, "Yes, yes" and "No, no"?

and my favourite:
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.

4) People with insecurities-does being surrounded by nicer figures on show affect the way they feel about themselves?If yes, why should we be the cause of this effect?why should we sometimes be judged by how we look in a bikini?

No quote for this..but before I make my way to my bed,just wanted to remind you, I'm not calling you bad Christians if you swim in a bikini..I mean I do myself.This is all new to me and I'm just sharing it with you guys.
And lovely guy friends,I'm not throwing botti to anyone ok? I'm so proud to have guy friends like you,and I couldn't ask for better friends,honestly...
just wondering what you're all thinking xD
I'm expecting comments =) Blessings all xxxx

If only XD

So yesterday..wednesday..everyone was celebrating our last Wednesday night out before school begins!

For me, PV is one of my weaknesses,not proud of it,but I'd rather admit it then try be cool and go and end up doing something I'll definitely regret..XD and I'm really taking God seriously..more than I ever have actually!So I really didn't want to ruin it...but Bett convinced me that it would be OK if we stuck together..and I convinced Elaine...so Bett,Elaine,Achie,Rob and I met up at the millennium chapel first,prayed then made our way to meet the others!Yes,temptations did come my way...but you know what?I really believed God would satisfy me without me drinking excessively!So I had 2 drinks in all,and we danced quite 'modestly' I would say!I was so happy and felt really good about it!

If only everyone tried it the God way....it doesn't mean we have to succeed every time,but at least we could try!

Anyway I wrote this sort of poem XD

I want to please you,
To try and keep you smiling
In everything I say and do.

I want to keep you close,
To be able to hold your hand,
Hold it tight when I need you the most.

I want to show you I can do it,
Without you I don’t stand a chance
Of getting through the night without being stupid.

I want to show you off to the world,
Let them know they could show you off too,
If only they made you their world!

So tonight may you keep smiling,
May you stay closer than I think,
Let me know you believe in me,
And let the world open their eyes and let them see.

Blessings readers xxxxxx

Let Me...

I'll come to the title soon enough.
There are 3 weeks left for school,which means in 3 weeks a 2-year course begins and ends with a-levels which determine if you're going to university or not.Stressful enough? =)

Last night us school girls reunited on ghadira bay.Not exactly the reunion I had in mind but at least I got to see some of my good friends,and I did laugh towards the end!
Coming to the title..

So,as some of you know 'Let me' is the original name to mine and bett's song, it's basically a cry out to god in pain but trusting him at the same time...a lamentation.

That song is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment,so I'll leave you with the lyrics and I really ask that you pray them,and let God do what He has to do =)

So I'll leave you with a sun burnt face,and a bloated stomach!Blessings!

Can you hear my screams and cries?
I’m calling out to you
Just hold me tight and I’ll be saved

Let me know you still care
You still love me
This time I cant get back up alone
Let me cry out to you
Let it all out, Jesus
I need your help

Can’t you see I’m fading
While pretending I’m fine
I’m not alone, you’re here with me

Let me know you still care
You still love me
This time I cant get back up alone
Let me cry out to you
Let it all out, Jesus
I need your help

Come and find me, I’m lost
Please don’t forget me..

Mr.Ant

Greetings fellow loved children of God =)

Last week,I was flipping through my metal bible,when I realised a small ant running around between the cover and the pages. I tried carrying him out,but he just wouldnt stay still!I knew that if I closed my bible,he would be squashed...so,with my bible upside down,I'm praying he would fall out,even if he hurt a bit as he landed,but atleast he wouldn't waste away..

And then...a comparison comes to mind!God so desperately wants to save us,but we so humanly stubborn our way through it,ignoring Him,and running away from Him!Then it comes to the point where it's going to hurt a bit but atleast we'll be saved!

Point of this...?
Stop running..stop being scared and for once in your life,will you trust in God?Will you just let Him pick you up and carry you through it?...

So wherever or whoever you are Mr.Ant...God loves you and wants to hold you =)

Blessings and cuddles wished from the olsen twin fanatic xxxx

Amazing song....Carrie Underwood!

A must see video!

So I have been emailing a christian guy from Georgia this past week. I found his blog,and thought his story was amazing,and he has come so far,and he really showed me that God can do anything if you just let Him take control...

Prayers and blessings sent to Andy =)
http://www.crucialencounter.com/

So I visited one of Andy's friends blogs, and I found this video,which has opened my eyes,and once again given me encouragement,that no matter how much we want to give up,and sometimes do,God never does,and keeps using people to save His people...

It won't let the video appear,so just click on the link I'll soon paste, trust me it's worth it!!
Please comment and give your opinion on the video...

http://www.cbs.com/thunder/player/thunder.php?pid=ZlkVH0nHQBg2Oey2nUlkclKYlGKtk6Ge

Anyway

This week I have also reflected upon the fact that I have brothers and sisters in Christ,struggling all over the world,fighting to live,hungry to know Jesus...I just wish I could meet them...God has introduced me to some already,and I have learnt so much,I just can't wait to meet others!

May God honestly bless all of you,and keep the video in mind!
Blessings,Amy xxxxx

Full but yet empty..

A week at soul survivor...one would expect total drastic change once back home...and though God has filled certain holes in my life...some of them are left un-filled...for a reason!i know there's a reason!and they're kind of getting deeper...

Anyway..

I apply to junior college tomorrow..and dls too!!Excitement and nerves!Especially on the course I chose!

Something I shared in the workshop I'm in...
So during a main meeting at SS,i asked god for forgiveness for all the things i needed to be forgiven for,and i needed to forgive myself for..and I felt him ask : "Sorry for what exactly?" So i got a paper and started to list all my sins down...God asked me to hold on to it,so I put it behind my name tag!the next day I lost it...I was really disappointed,I wanted to say sorry to God over and over again!So in the next meeting I let God know what was on my mind,and He told me, "I told you to hold on to it so you could lose it..just so you will realise that I let go of your sins the minute you realised it was wrong and felt shame and asked for forgiveness...."
I was like WOW!That's one of the holes God filled for me...=)

2 comparisons for you people xD
*drum roll please*

So as most of you know we rolled in the mud in England...and at first it was really exciting...it got really fun...then we got really tired,and the mud was going in places we didn't want it to go (not in a rude way)...and then it took ages till we actually got the courage to wash it off,and it took ages!I could have just thrown my clothes away...but I didn't,I showered and after lots of "EWW's" and "Oh my garlic bread's" we managed...and the showers were left really dirty..and the maids had to clean them and it took a while for all the traces of mud to totally disappear...

2 comparisons can evolve from this story....

1) Sin

Let's take drugs and alcohol.In the beginning it's really exciting,you're really into it!and it gets better for a while...then it starts to give negative effects...you get dizzy and dehydrated..throwing up bla bla..things start to go overboard,you're doing things you never wanted to do!So then you decide to stop.You keep doubting whether you can...and when you actually decide to,it takes ages till you get it right,till people stop talking about you..till your parents start to trust you again...so,you want to give up,you can't manage..you're scared....you think that even when you do stop there are things that will never go back to the way they were before...but that's until God cleans them up for you....FOR FREE!!!!

2) God's love

God created us...He made us,and played with us!He was mega excited about us..and we were about Him!!But then we grew into teenagers,God only got in the way..so we got tired of the you can't do this- and you can't do that routine...so we abandoned God,and started doing stupid stuff...God missed every one of us...then we turned back to God...we were so scared,thinking He didn't want us now...we lost our chance!But he hasn't given up on us,he grabs us,all muddy and smelly,hugs us and starts to rinse the sins off!And through all our hurts and moaning, He keeps cleansing us...till we're brand new xD

Sorry if I bored you....Leaving you with tissue blessings,and a runny nose!
xxxxxx

Not needed,but WANTED!

So I came upon one of the cutest videos on facebook!Listen and look...will compare after =)





Yes,you're allowed to cry =P So basically I kind of thought about it this way, the lion being God and the two guys representing us when we come back to God. It's really ironic because today's talk at Y4J was about the prodigal son...anyway,we start to push God out of our life,because we think He's getting in the way right? We can't get drunk or have sex bla bla...basically in the end we run back to Him,just like Tutzi (our youth leader) explained today.And God is so happy when we go back to him,he comforts us and shows us His great love!We usually go back to God in shame,thinking He would have forgotten all about us by now,but in fact He hasn't stopped thinking about us for one second!

Moving on...

Soul survivor in 6 days!I am really excited!Honestly!Today was our last Y4J meeting before Soul survivor,and I really gave it all I could!I opened up to God about everything,and asked him to take me as I am...
He's taken me guys...I am God's private property now,and you all need
permission from Him to borrow me for anything =P haha

Beer fest last night was good, Chinese was grand =D van trip home after took around an hour and a half!How mad aye?We went round all Malta!Then Vik,Bett,Ach and Rache slept over,and this morning bett and ach went to creche,while I slept again,got woken up by rob...then bett and Elaine came back...and we spent the day at my house eating and chilling! Leaving me feel like i just got run over! =)

My to-do list:

Re-do highlights & cut hair.
Go take passport photo for 6Th form applications.
Go wrap luggage.
Go lidl food shopping.
Put beads in hair.
Blow dry on Saturday.
Etc,etc.,

I'll share a poem tomorrow OK?because I'm about to fall asleep now!
God bless you all xxx

People,places and potties xD

hey guys...my thoughts for the week!

So we went to Comino for 2 days,and I had a great time, I learnt so much,honestly! The scenery was brilliant,i was in awe of God's creation! Even jellyfish struck me with their metre long tentacles xD

So my mum decided to relate how I never wanted to use the potty when I was younger,but always wanted to use the toilet!so I used to get the stool and climb up on to the toilet seat and Voilaaaa...

But...I kind of realised I'm still like that,but in a God way! If God tells me to do something I might try to be independent and do it another way, because I think He'll be prouder of me if I try reach His ways without His help sort of thing...getting me?
Back to the potty story- it would take me longer to pee,until i went for the stool and climbed and stuff....so basically it takes me longer to do something,because I try to do it my own way. And even worse, I usually don't manage without getting mega stressed and frustrated at myself for failing!

So I'm gna paste a bit of a God-diary i keep on the comp..this is last years,but it shows how I don't give God control..

1st September 07

Hi God&co,
What in d world is gng on? Evrytings gng haywire God! I feel like I can’t take control of anything in life, I’ve totally lost grip and I don’t think I can keep holding on, I want to but evrytings just stressing me out!

And then this is me being mega positive xD

9/10/07

I'm lost…I need your loving guidance, I know ure here wit me Lord nd I thank u 4 it!I don’t know wat 2 do so I'm leaving dis in your hands!i hv faith dat ders a reason 4 everything!…..i know Ive got u by my side, never to be alone!Love you xxxxxx

so that's a bit of the real me...=)

not gna end here xD

So today during the workshop in our quiet time,i realised something else =D

I want to be loved,
But I need to love myself.

I want to be forgiven,
But first i need to forgive.

And I want to know you,
But first i need to know myself.

Its quite long this post aye/Sorry!Had alot to say! I hope I didn't bore you..well if anyone is still reading!

So what have I learnt this past week?

1) Give control to God.
2) Appreciate things more.
3) Give more service to others.
4)Comino hotel closes their kitchen at half 9 xD
5) Friends are too special to lose!

So I'll leave you in my 'Pretty Little Rebel' top,pink linen trousers, 2 tired,closing eyes and a cute quote xD

'We turn to God when our foundations are shaking,only to find out that it is God who is shaking them!'

Good night xxxxxx

Another comparison xD

hey guys

So i realised i haven't compared a live situation to God's love in ages xD
But Comino has inspired me!

So my dad and I were in a dinghy and he was trying to teach me how to control it,to drive and stuff.There were boats all around us,people swimming,choppy sea...But I wanted to try,thinking I was ready!So I started driving it, when suddenly I was about to go straight in a boat!!I freaked,I was really panicked!I just gave my dad the steer thing really quickly,and he had to pull the emergency string xD But the point is, sometimes we think we're ready,we go for it,and when we realise that we're not ready,and things get tough,we turn to our Daddy!We give him control of our lives,but first we all have to realise that we can't control our own lives alone,that's when you can fully give your life to Jesus. Another thing! Ask Jesus if you're ready,only He knows xD

I have a question,that I'm hoping some of you bored readers could answer please. To what extent have you gone to keep secret?And why do we do crazy things like lying our asses off just to hide our little defects and situations from others? Hmmm *thinks*

So a thank you to God for saving one of the fishermen,but the 11 year old boy is unfortunately lost at sea =( his dad saw him float off the raft,but was too helpless to grab hold of him. Keep praying!

Missing Rache!!!hardly any credit to message her!
soul survivor soon!!we have to be at the airport at around 5 in the morning guys!how exciting is that?! =D

Anyway,god bless you all xxxxxx

Hello humans!

I apologise for the delay, but let's just say the past few weeks have been pretty draining,good and bad!I finally have some time on my hands,and spending the night at home,with a kids film to watch, and a pizza to stuff in the oven xD

I have found time in the past 2 days to finally journal again!Felt good!
Ivan's 18th was yesterday,must say,bloody good party!socialised loads,danced, got cactusized xD (danced on a nice-looking plant,but found out it a cactus was hiding, after getting spiked hehe)

a prayer goes out to the youth team who are in Gozo organising and praying together!may god really inspire them!

and a really loud prayer goes out to the fishing boat and 5 fishermen,including an 11 year old boy,his dad and his grandad, which is lost at sea,and they found one of them dead today.We really must keep them in our prayers!

O level results are out!Very good overall!now decisions,course choice,school etc.,

something I've learnt lately, to be myself more,no matter what,especially with god!I mean I've always found it important for us all to be ourselves,but sometimes you have to experience something to really understand and adapt to your lifestyle.

I'm off and leaving you with cactus needles in my legs,messy hair and a heart for Jesus =)

God bless you all xxx