Short update!

Hey!

Ahh so much has been going on! It's pretty crazy! Decisions..bad moods,good moods, confusion, loss of love, consciousness, boyfriends..or shall I say loss of boyfriends hehe, future, studying, boredom,worrying, smiling,temptations, I think you get the picture insomma...but I must say, through all these emotions/thoughts there are some people, who I just long to meet cause of the way they cheer me up, or know just what to say!You know who you are =) Well the hike on Wednesday, was great...funny game xD really enjoyed it!Some funny photos, which are uploaded on my facebook profile ok? My new ambition search, is getting more confusing than I thought it would, but it's cool =D I dont have anything to say today, just to remind you that God loves you soo much! teehee..

Thanks for being there for me....rly appreciate it =D mwaa xxxx

New ambitions?

Ahh guys...today I spent a day analysing my life, and where my life's going....and yes I've become a bit paranoid, but I have come up with two new ambitions!

Ambition 1) To find the real me!
Who Am I? Like seriously, how well do I know myself? Do I trust myself? Should I trust myself? How well do I know my weaknesses? How well do i know my positive aspects? Where do I stand with people, family, friends, best friends, and most importantly, God? Who am I becoming? Am I changing? Am I going the right direction? Do I truly love myself? Who do I look up to? What genre of music do I like? What are my fears?

Questions I've been asking myself all day...they got me thinking, a lot! And my conclusion, I hardly know myself!!!! All I know is that I'm a perfectionist, i hate being indecisive, I like to be organised, I'm scared of losing someone I love, I'm scared of ending up alone, I'm following God, I like to adapt myself with different people, I'm sensitive, and that I'm scared of the dark and cockroaches. There could be a couple of more things...but not really important!

Ambition 2) To Accept my Imperfections!!!!
I mentioned that I'm quite a perfectionist before, and well, lately more than ever.I'm even getting emotionally unstable about them.Even the slightest imperfection,even though I KNOW and agree that no ones perfect, let alone me, it's just everything I do, everything I am, I want it to be good,I want it to be accepted, I want God to like it, I want my family to agree, and I want my friends to like it too. If I do something ,I want to do it well. And if something doesn't go well, I feel really guilty, and beat myself up over it!Even the slightest tiniest, most minute situation!From reading in mass to my figure. Yes, I know, you're probably all saying. "huh?" she has a totally imperfect figure, and such an imperfect relationship with God. And no one's perfect, as I said before, but some more than others, I'm not top rated, but I'm trying okay? I actually opened up bout this fully with a best friend of mine...for the first time today xD I'm honestly a perfectionist at heart,I try not to show my disappointment so much usually...
Anyway I think I'll stop here...sorry if I bored you,but I felt I should blog it!
God Bless You All, and you're all free to comment and criticise=P
P.S: This is d best video I found of this song,the words are the best, Stellar Kart- Finish Last =) Enjoy!

Jesus' Face!! Be amazed!

Sorry?

So as most of you know, today we all watched the Passion of the Christ at Y4J. And the funny thing is, that I kept learning something new from various scenes. For example something that might be really obvious for some of you, and others not so obvious. You know how in the bible it says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and so I'm usually caught thinking about this beautiful-or-not thing, and I usually convince myself that God thinks im beautiful...but just God.But in the film, when Jesus told Pilate these words: "Whoever hears the truth, hears my voice."
I was like wait!So not only does God think we're all beautiful/handsome but it's true!I mean seriously, whoever you are, you are beautiful or handsome! Yes YOU!! =D *Feel special =) *
Anyway,coming to the title of this post: "Sorry?" Yes guys, that's a confused sorry!Well every time I saw them whip Jesus, and also in the scene where he was crucified, i kept saying "im so sorry, im so sorry" and i dont know why!I dont even know if its a good or a bad thing!Every bad thing that I've done, was just coming to mind,and i kept feeling bad!I mean he died for me, he suffered so much!and how am i paying him back?by sinning?!Even though that was the reason of his death....but hekk im a bit confused atm!
We just saw the face of GOD ta guys! There was the replica of the shroud, brought from St.Patricks...and were we all amazed or not!I sure was =D
Anyway so today I wrote something...its nothing much, but it basically shows what im feeling! Enjoy...and I'd like to thank some of you for being simply amazing!!! May God Bless you all!!!! =D

My Hero =)
Your love for me, so brilliant Lord,
I can now see, your grace shine through me,
Your son, he has paid
For my sorrow to fade away.
And through the tears and the troubles,
I can now truly say,I am okay!

Nothing compares to you,Lord.
Nothing compares to the love you have for us,
You will never leave me, alone,unloved and ignored.

And now I'm smiling through my day,
And I can honestly say,
This smile's for you, my King!
It's one of those, that shines, just for You!

And if it decides to disappear,
I'll remember, that I'm so beautiful to you,
Made with thought and love, so true!
And a place in my heart for you to make new!

You are my special Hero,
and I am so in love with You!

Let it all out

Hey guys, yes I know it's been ages, and I was speaking to Kai bout this, I just had to hv time to reflect ok xD So let me try look back to this past week, well basically I'm really happy cause i started going to the gym, and even though I'm all sore, hopefully it will be worth it in the end xD and it's the same with life, get sore guys ok? it will be worth it! Umm on Saturday, at Y4J, I basically wasnt feeling too well in the beginning so i just drank water and sat on a chair alone in the kitchen, then when i felt a bit better I went and sat near brooks (my love =P) lol and rache joined us later, and we were being our fun selves, and made the best out of our weird mood =) insomma then Rache,Vik,Sara and I went to hv dinner at sunrise, and had a good chat, and we laughed a bit =) and rache's lovely boyfriend Duncan, came for her, and we just ended up invading his car without asking for a lift xD how rude we are aye?hehe and we had the most hilarious ride home, EVER!I was seriously gna piss guys, nd for those who know me, know dat I seriously wud hv pissed xD which reminds me, i dont think i ever told u my funny story aye? so i had met duncan once, and insomma when some ppl were slumming at bay, duncan thought i was slumming with them ( he didnt know the rules) and he called me at like 3 i the morning while i was sleeping in my bed =D and he was like: nista nkellem lil Rache pls? nd i said: umm jiena mhux rache, wrong number! insomma i kept insisting dat he dialled the wrong number, and after a few mins, it clicked!i was like waitttt ure duncan!and he was like yes! and i said sorrryyyy but im not with rache!and insomma it was rly funny cause when i hung up, everything came back to me!hehe *blonde moment*
anyway back to my weekend, then I got home safely, even though I was shouting: HAWN HA MMUT whenever he was gng rly fast lol and then sunday came along!woke up for mass, and at 12 i was down in the fields, for our nice picnic...stayed with pau nd pete and had our teeny weeny funny chats hehe then others came nd pau and i visited a friend xD insomma it was a funny day, and at night, depression fell, and i was in a bit of a mood, but my girls were there for me, and we had a long chat! thanks =) and what do u know? God knew just how to cheer me up, he gave me my bestfriend back! I couldn't stop smiling after that! so thank you daddy king!Patience is wow...insomma so basically today i woke up with vik making noises hehe, went to gym came bk, showered nd studied, and here i am =Dbasically, i hv nothing out of this world to blog bout! oh noy wait, i do xD GOD haha ah yes and at the picnic, at night, Achie,Brooks,Chrissy,Glenn and I lied down on the grass looking up at the moon, listening to Me and Jesus of Stellar Kart!it was so cute nd relaxing! and i just wanna thank God for giving us a moon to just stare at xD and for natural light of course!hehe
nd before i leave you with a vid, I want to remind you all that even if ure thinking your lifes a mess atm, its all perfectly organised actually xD
The title of this post, is also the title of this song =) Enjoy relient K!
God Bless you all xxxx

Struck down, but not destroyed!!!!!!

Hey...today has been one long, emotional day!Yes, school leaving preparations,rag day,our lady of sorrows presentation,class photo etc., I must say that I personally can't wait to leave my school!And in my opinion, they can't wait to get rid of us too =P But anyway life goes on xD
So basically the title chosen is from 2Corinthians 4:9..and it really shocked me (in a good way)...so I'll tell you all about it! =) I was reading the "Real Life" section on brio (http://www.briomag.com/) and I saw this written on one of the articles: Struck Down but Not Destroyed
And basically this is the story found, it's really interesting so read!You'll learn to appreciate life more!
Struck Down but Not Destroyed by Katarina McIntosh as told to Ashley Boyer
I live in Greensburg, Kan., a small town of about 2,000 people. On May 4, 2007, a group of about 30 students from our school would be competing in the state forensics tournament with the largest team in years. We all got on the bus and headed for Salina, a city four hours away. Little did we know what we’d find when we returned the next day.
My mom had been at Bible study a few weeks before and had shared a verse that had spoken to her, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” She had no idea how fitting those verses would become two weeks later.
After what felt like weeks of being on the bus, we arrived at the hotel. Our teacher, Mrs. McMurry, called her husband and informed us of a tornado warning in Greensburg. If you live in “Tornado Alley,” this is no big deal. Tornado warnings happen all the time; you go to the basement and chill for a bit, then come back up and go on with life. Nobody was really worried.
Back in Kansas . . .Back home in Greensburg, my mom made some snacks and joined my dad, my little brother, Tyler, and his friend Trevor. They noticed the siren going off and headed to the basement, never bothering to turn on the news. They turned on a movie to pass the time until the warning was over.
Back at the hotel, I knocked on my boyfriend’s door and mentioned the tornado warning. He’d been watching the news, and it looked bad. All of us began to panic when we realized there was no cell phone reception in Greensburg. The leaders came out in the halls with us and tried to call their families as well. We’d all been watching the news, and we knew that a tornado had been spotted; so far it looked as if it was headed toward Greensburg.
Back home in Greensburg, my mom noticed something that had never happened before. “Gene,” she asked my dad, “are your ears popping?” The wind began to blow hard, and the doors of our porch began to slam. Glass began to break upstairs, and my parents started to pray. They asked the Lord to protect them and put His angels around them.
The electricity went out, but my dad had grabbed a flashlight. Suddenly, the window in my Dad’s study broke out! Dirt and debris flew inside, swirling around the room. My dad threw couch cushions over my brother and his friend to protect them. The dust filled the air until my dad could hardly breath.
Back at the hotel in Salina, Mrs. McMurry called everyone into her room. More news—Greensburg had been hit. We were four hours away, and there was nothing we could do. One thought floated around in our heads: By tomorrow, we may be the last people from Greensburg alive.
Storm SurvivalFinally, the storm died down. My family thought they heard someone calling for help. My dad opened the door to the basement, and they all stepped out. There was glass and live wire everywhere. With the flashlight to guide them, they came into our living room. “Oh, the piano is still there, so is the couch,” my mom noticed. Stepping over the rubble, they crawled out the hole in our front door.
When my parents got outside, my mom looked across the street where my friend Alexis lived, but she couldn’t see their house.
Soon a paramedic from Greensburg came up to them. “Is everyone in your family accounted for? Are you all OK?”
She told my parents to walk across town to Davis Park. Carrying our two dogs, they headed that way. When they had left the house, they figured they would be back that night, and since they couldn’t really see how bad the damage was, they never bothered to grab anything else.
In Salina, we were finally getting in touch with family. I had accidentally left my cell phone at home, and nobody else could get a hold of my parents. But God gave me a peace, and I knew somehow that my family was fine. What I began to worry about most was everyone else.
I went back up to the rooms and began to pray in a way I’ve never done before. I walked through the hallway and said a silent prayer for each person I passed, asking God to take away their fear and give them peace. I went by the leaders and asked God to give them strength to comfort all the kids they were in charge of.
The AftermathIn Salina, Mrs. McMurry said the bus would leave for Greensburg as soon as possible. We had canceled our state competition. Finally, a leader came up to me and told me my aunt had called them and said my parents were fine. They found a ride to a nearby city, where they would spend the night at a shelter.
We got to Hutchinson, a city on the way to Greensburg, and we were dropped off at the mall. I was told to wait until my Aunt Deanna came to get me. A little later, I saw my older brother Brian. He lives three hours away from Hutchinson, but he’d already driven down.
Just a little while after I got to my aunt’s house, my family arrived. You can imagine how happy we all were to see each other and tell our stories. Soon my oldest brother, Steve, and his wife, Maureen, flew in from the Washington, D.C. area to be with us. It was wonderful to all be together.
Before we knew it, my dad had somehow gotten an interview with “The Today Show” and every other news network after that. We went back to Greensburg to see what was left. My parents cried when they saw our house, not so much because of how damaged it was, but because it was the only one on the block still standing. With all their prayers, God had saved most of our house. For quite a while after that, we would go back and load stuff from our house into trucks to take back to my aunt’s to clean.
You can watch news and look at pictures, but nothing, I mean nothing, can really show you the damage to our town. When the rumors were over and the facts finally came out, we learned it had been an F5 tornado, 95 percent of the town was destroyed and 12 people died.
Within 24 hours, there were organizations from all over trying to help people. We weren’t real worried about our things, because we all understand that stuff can be replaced, but our family can’t be. We couldn’t believe how kind people were and how many huge donations and help we received from all over. Our family received letters from as far as Florida, Arizona, California and Montana. Most are from people we’ve never met.
Not DestroyedOne of the days we went back to Greensburg, on the side of our house—what my friend Charlotte and I jokingly referred to as “my pile of rubble”—I spray-painted the words “Struck down but not destroyed” and “2 Cor. 4:9” underneath. It became a way for people to recognize our house, because when all the street signs and all the homes are blown away, it’s hard to find your way around town.
If you don’t believe in the power of prayer, then take a look at the only house standing on the 300 block in Greensburg, Kan. Praying saved all of it and the people in it. All of us in Greensburg know that even though we’re hard pressed on every side, we’re not going to be crushed; sometimes we get perplexed, but we won’t be in despair; many of us are persecuted, but we’ll never be abandoned; we may be struck down, but we aren’t destroyed, because God is with us!
Copyright © 2008 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
I'll leave you with this video including pictures of the aftermath of this F5 tornado.God Bless You All X

Dilemma?...I think not =)

Heya..
So all those wondering how life's been treating me, just know, that mr.life is mean AND nice at the same time...I mean even when everything's going wrong, I'm still hekk helping people and stuff...and that's amazing!I mean for those who know me, I'm the type of person who enjoys helping where possible,and I think God's trying to show me something, I'm not sure what it is yet, but I know that there's something behind all of this confusion! I'm holding on xD Lenten Talks are over, and I must say, they were brilliant! Talks, sound, dance, mime, poetry, songs, videos, effects, adoration...everything =P And that reminds me, the mime was like wow...we all really enjoyed it!I felt so alive...we were all praying throughout, and I'm telling you guys!!PRAYER IS AMAZING! So many new people found God this week, and Zoe and I ministered to these 3 girls...who are constantly in my prayers!And I really enjoyed learning and discovering new stuff this week! So Glory to God for everything He's done this past week! Sorry I haven't posted the poem, but I'm having doubts about it...teehee xD Ok so Matt told me something, you know the video of Eric Clapton singing Tears in Heaven that I posted about 2posts back, well I didn't quite know this amazing background of the song, untill Matt kindly opened my eyes =P "Eric Clapton wrote that song on heroin because he was in a depression,he wrote that song locked in a room, drugged with just a bed a guitar and a gun." Quoting Matt =) So basically, just to let you know guys, even in the worst points in your life, when you feel there's nothing to live for, nothing to keep you going, you keep going anyway!A blind step of faith guys!You get back up, even with those wounds so deep, even with your vision so blurry, and the road all bumpy...just remember God is at the end of the road, arms wide open, ready to welcome you!We're all gna manage ok children of God? Even if your friends have ditched you,even if your family is falling apart, even if you're abused or bullied, even if you're having trouble with food, even if you cut everyday cos you have no one to talk to!and even if you're heartbroken so badly,that you don't even see yourself getting out of it this time...You're gna manage....cos Jesus died for YOU, YES YOU!!And He's with you every step of the way...carrying you through it ok? Yes, guys I'm convinced, and I can really picture us all struggling towards the end of the road, all with different wounds...but all helping eachother through it, and God sending his angels to wipe our cuts, and hold our hand for support...and God going from one person to another, whispering some words of encouragment and hugging them tight..aaa im imagining this and smiling to myself xD And one last thing, so you know yest the talk was about changing the world, and Matt sent me this song of Nickelback, and it's about how different people changed the world because they had faith...and if we all cared then the world would be different! Basically there's this written at the end of the video that I'm going to post:
"Never doubt that a small group of committed ppl can change the world,indeed it is the only thing that ever has."
And also remember, ARK ; one Act of Random Kindness at a time. Enjoy the amazing song, and God Bless you all!!!!!!!!!! I'm always here if anyone of you needs a chat ok? =) Bye bye XXX

P.S: Thanks Ach for the hug post, loved it!And the 20-second thing was just funny...Thank you for being a great friend, along with Zoe,Kai,Pau and Vicky who were rly there for me yest!Love you all xxxx